I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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