Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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