I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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