even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
