dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
