Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
