a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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