Sry I called you an 8
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
