No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
