Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
