what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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