just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
