Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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