I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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