Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
