...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
