I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
