He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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