I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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