that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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