Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
