Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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