a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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