Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
