what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
