like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
