He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
