my vag is so smooth its legendary
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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