Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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