Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
