To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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