My brain says no but my pants say off.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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