Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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