oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
