do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
