in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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