Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think i have herpe
just one?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
