Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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