ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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