so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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