Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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