How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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