he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
