We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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