The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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