take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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