I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
