Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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