yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
