420 ftw
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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