I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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