they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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