ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
