HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
