you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
